life as we know it!

i don't ACTUALLY think anyone read this anymore.
but what the heck...we all know how much i love to talk!
so here goes...
im not even sure if i should be sharing this as its not my news, but it really hit me.
last saturday at almost exactly this time i found out that a very good friends niece had passed away.
this family meant the world to me at one point. and they are amazing. the whole family is so so close! aunts, uncles, cousins, grandkids, cousins-nieces-husbands-dogs-vets-brother in laws were always welcome at their home. they tell each other EVERYTHING and its just always a party and they all love to be together! i felt so a part of their family. i loved being there and jumping on the jump-a-jump with one of the nieces or pushing her on the swing or just driving through the foothills with the boys. some of the best memories i have are with that family! i'd never known family could be like that...all the siblings were best friends the youngest who was 12 and the oldest who was at least 26 even! it was amazing to me. and made me want to have a family just like that one day, where everyone just loved each other no matter what and it was weird if they DIDNT get phone calls from at least everyone once a day.
but i guess tragedy doesnt care how close or wonderful your family is. as i've followed the news stories, the mothers personal blog, and her facebook i've been awed by her faith in God and how calm and at peace she's been able to be with the whole situation.
sure it hasnt been without sadness and tears, but considering the circumstances i think shes doing awesome. i heard a couple tidbits from the funeral and i have to say even without being there, i think this situation has been one of the most spiritual experiences ive ever witnessed. how lucky their family is to be together forever. i just dont know how shes had so much grace and poise all things considered.
one thing she wrote on facebook that hit me and i thought was just perfect "...as she started to cry the whole room went silent and I was able to feel my sweet girl wrap her arms around her and tell her it was going to be okay. I am so thankful for this gospel and the truth and light it brings to me during these hard hours. We are so blessed and can feel the love of the Savior in all that we are enduring right now."
i just love those darringtons!
i attached her obituary just because i think its so sweet...


Jayci Lillian Darrington

Dec. 1, 2009-April 22, 2011

DECLO — Our sweet baby girl, Jayci Lillian Darrington, was called home to her Father in Heaven way too early on Friday, April 22, 2011.

She was called home to touch the lives of thousands here on earth and be an example on the other side. He needed somebody that was feisty, unpredictable, loving and perfect. Jayci’s last and best adventure is where her life on earth ended, swimming with the angels.

Jayci was born Dec. 1, 2009, to her eternal parents, Layne and Krissy Darrington, and big sister, best friend, and partner in crime, Ellie June. Jayci was full of life and always one step ahead of you. She had a perfect obsession and love for the water — wherever it was, she was there also. Jayci Lillian will never be forgotten and live on in our hearts forever.

Jayci Lillian is survived by her parents, Layne and Krissy Darrington; and big sister, Ellie June Darrington; her grandparents, Val and Teresa Darrington of Declo, Gayla and Fred Hough of Orofino, and Dana Lott of Kamiah; her great-great-grandparents, Jay and Lillian Nielsen of Twin Falls; Bob and June Tyler of Rupert, and Glenn and LaDawn Clark of Buhl. She is also survived by many aunts and uncles that loved her more than anything. She will be greeted in heaven by Marcine Weeks; great-grandparents, Leroy and Minnie Darrington, Demar Lott, and Robert Cotten, with so many others right there beside them.

The funeral will be held at 2 p.m. Thursday, April 28, at the Declo LDS Stake Center, 213 W. Main St. in Declo, with Bishop Steve Durfee officiating. Burial will be in the Declo Cemetery. Friends may call from 6 until 8 p.m. Wednesday, April 27, at the Rasmussen Funeral Home, 1350 E. 16th St. in Burley, and from 12:30 until 1:45 p.m. Thursday at the church.

what a silly girl i am...

im so greatful for the priesthood and worthy boys in my ward to give me a last minute blessing when im really in need.
yesterday sucked.
down right sucked!
i found out some pretty horrific news that someone who i thought was my very good friend, wasnt.
had been lying and sneaking around behind my back.
im a pretty forgiving person, i cant stay mad long.
except when she couldnt do the 1 simple thing i needed...
i was a wreck.
i felt completely and utterly worthless.
how could i have meant so little to her?!
all i wanted yesterday was to be at home in boise hanging out with my dad.
or all people my dad!
kinda funny i know.
i just know that no matter what stupid things i do my dad always loves me.
i like to think hes my best friend but i know all my siblings think hes their best friend too.
and so i finally swallowed my pride and asked for a blessing.
of course the boy was more than willing.
and it was a fantastic blessing.
i heard some things i knew i needed to hear, and some i didnt know i needed to hear.
and afterwards he looked at me and said "that was the easiest blessing ive ever had to give"
i asked why that was and he said "i opened it and i didnt have to think another thought. it all just came out."
how amazing is that?

today im feeling like this...

brad paisley
i wish you'd stay

i talked to my sister in memphis
and i told her you were movin' to town
here's her number
she said she'd be glad to show you around

i left a map on your front seat
just in case you lose your way
but don't worry, once you reach sallisaw
it's all interstate
i know you need to go
but before you do i want you to know, that i
wish you the best
and i wish you nothing less
than every thing you've ever dreamed of
and i hope that you find love along the way
but most of all
i wish you'd stay
i figure right about sundown
you'll be in west tennessee
and by then
maybe i'll understand why you had to leave

i know that you've done some changin'
and i know there's no changin' your mind
and yes i know
we've been through this a thousand times

i'm sorry for still holdin' on
i'll try to let go and i'll try to be strong, and i'll
wish you the best
and i wish you nothing less
than every thing you've ever dreamed of
and i hope that you find love along the way
but most of all
i wish you'd stay
yeah, everything you've ever dreamed of
and i hope that you'll find love along the way
but most of all
i wish you'd stay
i wish you'd stay

trial run.

ok so that last post was just a trial run.
i've been neglecting my blog baby because it wouldnt let me load anymore pictures.
they said i used all my free space on the interwebs!
how is that even possible?!
so i tried loading that last picture just to see and wouldnt you know it loaded just fine!
so heres what ive been up to the last few months...in pictures!
love me.
XOXO
(lance i hope you enjoyed that ending...just for you!)

ok so these are from our sorority jazz date night.

me and kelli going to get our datey-dates.

this is my date ricky.

i think hes hot.

me and danielle!

you cant even see the floor because we were literally the 2nd to last row in the nosebleeds!

ha!

this is when that hot date of mine told me to lie to the ladies at the parking garage so we didnt have to pay to park...it worked.

nothing important but...

once upon a time...

i lived with this really spoiled brat.
i mean spoiled spoiled.
her parents paid for everything ever.
she bought everything on her credit card which her stepdad paid.
her mom bought her a brand new car when she graduated high school.
did i mention she was 19?
she also thought she was the hottest thing ever.
even though she was overweight.
she had bleached blonde hair, big thighs, and a huge teeth.
her favorite things were to get drunk and have really loud sex so the whole house could hear.
well i finally had enough of her crap and annoying behavior and her attitude towards me so i moved out.
upon moving out she took the liberty of opening and throwing away all of my mail.
havent talked to the girl since i moved out and hesterday she texts me.
heres our conversation:
her: hey you dont by chance have my wax...? :)
me: i bought you a new can in january. it should be sitting on your dresser for months. oh and p.s. you might want to spread the word that opening someone elses mail is a federal offense with up to 5 years in jail :)
(ok dont tell her but i may have slightly exaggerated...i just wanted to scare her!)
her: what are you even talking about. uhh. there is no wax on my dresser. why wouldnt you text me and tell me where you put it. aaaand i didnt open your mail. maybe get your address changed :)
me: i told you when i bought it. we had a whole conversation about it. maybe you were too drunk to remember.
her: weird. k cool. well hope all is well at the new place. your very much missed :D
me: XOXO

i dont know why i got such a kick out of this.
i mean i was a little fired up, mostly cause i hate her is why.
but whatev.
dont have to deal with that anymore :]

#105 you can't blame a girl for trying!

i realize i've been mia.
but i havent had internet.
and i cant add anymore pictures to this blog.
i thought what the hecks the point?
then i was doing some blog stalking and realized that i just really like to be able to write.
i like to be able to talk to myself really.
i prefer pictures, but facebooks doing a pretty good job of holding down that fort for now.

this was kind of a heavy weekend.
i learned some things about myself i was previously unsure of.
and i thought i'd maybe be a little upset about how this weekend turned out...but turns out im not!
which has made things great!

but i want to always remember myself at this moment:

im so in love with the song lasso by the band perry.
i've always been afraid of flying...but you can't blame a girl for trying.
i think im more alone and indipendent than i've ever been but its ok.
im learning to do things for and by myself.

im just not sure where to go from here.
i went to dinner with some friends last night.
ones a bit older and kept commenting on "when i have daughters..." blah blah blah.
and i was impressed that he still had faith in marriage and children.
im only 22 1/2 but in salt lake mormon-topia thats old.
and im no closer now than i was after graduating high school.

where've all the boys who want to date gone?!